“You deserve the love you keep trying to give away.”

I don’t know who said this, but it sticks to my brain.  I believe you have to be your own biggest hype(wo)man and that it’s important to love yourself as much as you’d expect anyone else to. It’s so American, so millennial, so cliche… but it’s TRUE.

How could you expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself, sis?

I had all these thoughts while I was in mid-pamper mode. Today I went to the spa and got a massage, a facial and a manicure (I can’t actually afford to live like this, but my fake bougie ass bought a spa deal 4 months ago #neverpayfullprice). Anyway, I was laying there feeling zen AF and not-guilty about doing this nice thing for myself, by myself.

I’m probably in the most selfish phase of my life right now because I am not responsible for anyone else, and I don’t rely on anyone else either. This probably makes me sound like an asshole. Maybe I am one, but I know this phase, like all phases, will come to an end. I look forward to taking care of more than just myself someday, but we’re not there yet.

Being the star of my own show has perks, but also challenges and pressures. As everyone around me seems to be getting boo’d up, engaged, married, and/or pregnant, it’s critical that I feel sure of my path and my timeline, especially as a woman.

Loving myself is more than just going to the spa; it also means reassuring myself to not feel less-than, behind-schedule, or incomplete without a partner, not to mention maintaining standards and boundaries with anyone I do invite into my life.

Gentle reminder to the bad ass independent bitches out here: “ur doing amazing sweaty!” Live your best life because the zaddy who deserves to be there will show up when it’s time.

xoxo

Trace